..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
