That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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