things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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