Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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