Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
