Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
a search helicopter?!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
