Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
