why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
