His apartment number was 69. I had to.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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