you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
