I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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