Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's just like the Real World with babies
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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