yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
