tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
