'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
