quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
