I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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