Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
