Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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