i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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