It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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