I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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