shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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