Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
vagina is talking i cant
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
