ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
