Are we in a gay sports bar?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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