He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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