so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
