You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
