You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
