so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish i was in the wii world.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
