I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Randomize
