I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize