He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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