I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
