sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
