So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
