So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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