I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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