You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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