I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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