I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
