that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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