My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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