omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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