Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
