some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
