I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
