she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
