Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
