just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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