I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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