covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
