I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Your cock deserves a montage
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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