After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
