In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
