no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
