he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
