69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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