Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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