Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
