BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
