epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
