How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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