i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize