so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
