hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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