Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
