I must be too annoying 4 u.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
