dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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